Scorpion Gulch Maternity Pictures | Phoenix Maternity Photographer
Lauren and Javi are just the sweetest parents-to-be! I absolutely loved meeting them and getting to know them better during their maternity session. These two knocked it out of the park with their style, I loved the classic elegance of their outfits and the way the soft colors complemented the desert scenery! Lauren was absolutely stunning, I mean have you seen a more beautiful pregnant mama? And Javi was so sweet, the whole time he kept telling Lauren how beautiful she looked, and he even pulled out the Cinderella’s prince skills at one point when he helped Lauren slip out of her sandals and into her heels without bending over! (Husband goals, right?) Lauren and Javi are seriously such a fun couple, they kept me laughing throughout their session and their excitement about their baby girl on the way was so genuine. Becoming pregnant was no easy feat for them, though, and I could tell Javi and Lauren are so, so grateful for this baby and the opportunity to become parents. I’m so excited to share the maternity pictures we took at Scorpion Gulch in Phoenix, along with Lauren and Javi’s infertility story today! I hope this brings hope and solidarity to other couples who may be struggling with infertility.
written by Lauren
We are both Arizona natives– Javi from Tucson and Lauren from Phoenix– but it took us a long time to cross paths. We had both graduated from the University of Arizona and were working in the same building on campus before we met in a meeting. Even then it took a few more months before we met up for pizza and beer after work one day in October 2011, but things moved pretty quickly after that. We definitely wooed each other with lots of carbs– bagels and brownies especially! We love music festivals and traveling in general and always check out the local breweries and pizzerias wherever we go.
Your infertility story:
We got married on April Fool’s Day in 2016 and knew we wanted to start building our family when we got home from our honeymoon in July. At first we hoped we would be one of those lucky couples that gets pregnant without too much effort, but as the months passed by we (mostly Lauren) started to get a little worried. We did a full workup which didn’t show a whole lot– more or less we were unexplained. Because the tests didn’t show anything definitive, we gave it a while longer before finally trying an IUI. When that didn’t work we moved on to IVF, just after Lauren’s 31st birthday and Javi’s 34th. Everything looked great on paper but at the end of our first retrieval round we had only 2 embryos and we were hoping for multiple kids, so we decided to do a second retrieval. Disappointingly, we only managed 1 embryo from the second round. We decided to go ahead with a transfer to make sure there weren’t any more surprises waiting for us, and were floored when our first transfer worked. We’re now 32 and 35 and thrilled that our little girl will be here in just a few short weeks– just the thought makes everything we went through worth it.
What would you say is the hardest thing about infertility?
Time. Everything about infertility is a waiting game– you wait for cycles and appointments and results and time seems to simultaneously slow down to a crawl and fly by as everyone around you gets pregnant, has babies, and sometimes even gets pregnant again! Not counting the time we tried before deciding to do IVF, it took eight months between prepping for our first cycle and our successful transfer, which is relatively short in the infertility world. Some people go through more retrievals and/or more transfers than us, and it seems there’s always some sort of set back whether it’s minor surgery to address issues that come up in testing or just your clinic closing for the holidays. You have very little control over the things that happen in a cycle and that makes all the waiting that much harder.
Are there any ways you have grown stronger as a person/couple as a result of infertility?
Our experience has definitely tested us in a lot of ways, but it has also made us better at communicating and supporting one another. It also gave us an opportunity to share our experience publicly, with friends and strangers alike. We started an Instagram account (@build.a.baby) as a way to document what we were going through and dispel some of the stigma around infertility. As a result we connected with so many friends that had been through their own struggles, and made a few new ones along the way. Being able to offer support to others has been a silver lining in all of this.
Are there any resources that have helped you emotionally/spiritually through your infertility journey?
Along the way we’ve found so many great resources– in the beginning, we watched a YouTube channel featuring a couple juggling IVF and adoption, and listened to a podcast about a couple dealing with severe male factor infertility. This led to a variety of Facebook groups and the Instagram community, and we also got involved with our local Resolve chapter. Recently someone referred to it as a fraternity (on accident) but it is so true– despite the stigma, people ARE talking about their experiences, you just have to find them. Once you do, you have an endless supply of support, encouragement, and love. It truly is the most amazing club that no one wants to be in.
Is there anything you wish people who don’t struggle with infertility knew?
We encountered SO many misconceptions about infertility. It’s so important to be clear about this: Infertility is a disease. It impacts men and women equally, and it’s not something that anyone chooses. Well meaning friends think you just need to relax, or take a vacation, or stop trying so hard– you would never say that to someone with cancer! And for most people, infertility treatments are considered elective and not a covered medical expense. We were very fortunate to be able to afford the out of pocket costs of treatment but so many people do not have that luxury. Also never suggest to someone struggling with infertility that they ‘just’ adopt! There are so many challenges and expenses unique to that experience… it’s not an easy path to choose.
What advice would you give to someone else who is currently going through infertility?
Be prepared for the unexpected! Nothing about infertility treatments is easy or goes according to plan. Even when you do everything “right”, so much is out of your control. If you’re planning on IVF, know that it takes most people more than one cycle and that you need to manage your resources. That doesn’t just mean finances, though it is a big part for most people. It’s also your mental and emotional resources– you need a strong support system whether that’s an online community or a few trusted friends and a therapist (definitely get a therapist!). It doesn’t hurt to be optimistic, but you also need to be realistic. Knowing the odds and that there are no guarantees makes it so much easier to adapt and keep going rather than giving up when things get tough.
