Maternity Photos at Gilbert Riparian Preserve | Stephanie & Art’s Infertility Survivor Story

I have another special infertility survivor story to share with you today! Stephanie and Art were among the winners of the ISS photo session giveaway I hosted on Instagram during National Infertility Awareness Week.  Last night I got to meet Art and Stephanie in person for their photo shoot, and they are the sweetest couple–their love for each other is absolutely radiant.  It makes me so happy for them that the photos we took were maternity photos.  After a difficult journey, Stephanie and Art are expecting a baby girl due at the end of August!  I felt honored to share in some really special moments with them to document their excitement and celebration for this baby while also paying tribute to the sweet angel baby they lost earlier on.  These adoring parents have so much love for both of their children–one they will hold in their arms soon, and another in heaven that will always be held close in their hearts.  I hope that Stephanie and Art’s story will bring a sense of hope, healing, and understanding to anyone else struggling with infertility or loss.

written by Stephanie

A little background about you as a couple
Art and I met while we were both in college at ASU – he was just about to graduate and I had one year left to go. We met for the first time in October, 2007 at a music recital being put on by my sister’s fiance (now husband) who also happened to be friends with Art. Another mutual friend introduced us and we exchanged pleasantries, but we didn’t see each other again until the next year in June when my sister got married and Art was a guest at the wedding. We were both single and looking for a dance partner, so we danced at my sister’s wedding, became Facebook friends shortly thereafter, began dating and the rest is history 🙂 We quickly fell in love (we told each other after only about a month of dating!) and I knew almost right away that this was the man I was going to marry. We were perfect for each other. We were in no rush since we had started dating at age 21, so we dated for three years before getting engaged, and got married in July 2012. 

Your infertility story
Again, we were in no rush to start a family. We got married at age 25 and didn’t want to really start trying until we were 27 or 28. I thought that would be the ideal age to start our family. So in December of 2014, we started trying! It was both super exciting and also completely terrifying, as I thought we would fall pregnant right away and we’d have a baby before 2015 was over. Little did I know, we would continue trying all through 2015 and ultimately go see a fertility specialist in the beginning of 2016. Needless to say, 2015 was a very tough year for us. By about September/October I knew that something wasn’t right and it hit me very hard. I fell into a depression by the end of the year, yet I knew I couldn’t give up on our goal of having children. So I made appointments and my husband and I had the initial diagnostic testing done and it turns out that neither of us are very fertile! Art’s case is much more mild than mine with a lower than average sperm count and slightly higher than average morphology rate. My infertility is caused by diminished ovarian reserve. We were told that we had a less than 5% chance of ever conceiving naturally, which was pretty much the most shocking and devastating news of our lives. I didn’t know it would be so absolute. If we wanted biological children, we would have to go through assisted reproductive technology. We were advised to begin with IUI’s and then move onto IVF after a few tries. I couldn’t even wrap my head around IVF and wasn’t sure if it was the way to go for us, so we started with IUI’s as suggested. As IUI #1, #2, and #3 all failed, we continued trying to come to terms with the reality of IVF being our only option. We went back and forth on whether we should go the adoption route or give IVF a try. Ultimately we decided to go for IVF. We did one last shot with IUI #4 and it was also a bust, so we moved right into the terrifying and overwhelming world of IVF. 9 eggs were collected at retrieval and 7 were fertilized with ICSI. Unfortunately, by day 5 we only had two little embryos left. We decided to transfer them both back in and ended up pregnant with twins! We thought we had won the IVF jackpot! And then at our 12 week ultrasound we received the devastating news that our Baby B’s heart had stopped beating. It was a crushing blow and terrible loss that we’re still grieving for, but ultimately we are just so grateful to have our one precious miracle daughter on the way!

What would you say is the hardest thing about infertility?
The hardest part about infertility is feeling completely alone in it. No one understands the heartbreak, grief, sadness and about 100 other emotions of infertility unless you’ve experienced it for yourself.

Are there any ways you have grown stronger as a person or couple as a result of infertility?
We absolutely grew together as a couple as a result of infertility. In the beginning we had no one to turn to but each other. No one in our real lives understood what we were going through and couldn’t support us like we could support each other.

Are there any resources that have helped you emotionally/spiritually through your infertility journey?
Honestly, the one thing that helped me the most through this journey was finding others going through the same experiences as me. I found my infertility tribe on Instagram and they kind of saved me. It’s a hell of a journey to have to experience alone, and I can’t emphasize enough how much it helped to be able to share my journey with others who truly understood what I was going through.

Is there anything you wish people who don’t struggle with infertility knew?
It’s a much bigger deal than you think. This is not just something we’re dealing with – infertility affects every aspect of our lives and hurts in ways you can’t even imagine. Be kind. Be careful with your words. Be as supportive as you can.

What advice would you give to someone else who is currently going through infertility?
My advice would be to find people you can talk to about it. Don’t feel like you’re alone in this – 1 in 8 couples are struggling alongside you and can be there to support you! Find your tribe!

Thanks so much to Stephanie and Art for sharing their story!
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